Politics and Philosophy

Who: Zach Weiner
What: "Exigology", Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
When: December 14, 2011

Oh, just click on the picture.

Exigology (noun): A statement whose converse is its own explanation.

Well ... Right. Yeah. Exactly. Sort Of.

Who: Mark Steel
What: "Hands off our greedy bankers", The Independent
When: December 14, 2011

They shall never surrender their island ....

You can see why, after 50 years of putting up with Europe, this was finally the issue where we couldn't take any more. Because the bastards were insisting we impose a vague regulation or two on our bankers and speculators, those brave and tireless souls who invest round the clock to keep us safe with not a thought for themselves. Well, the French had the audacity to suggest someone kept an eye on them from time to time. Haven't bankers suffered enough?

So, just like in 1940, we stand alone, and hopefully at every bus stop, you'll hear the plucky British saying: "Blooming Krauts, who do they think they are telling us our bankers aren't allowed to rob us blind? That's the right of every Englishman, to have his country robbed blind by bankers. Now Frau Merkel wants to make them only rob me nine-tenths blind until they get themselves straight. Well, we fought off the Luftwaffe, so we'll see off this lot an' all."

Recognizing the Obvious

Who:
What: "Let's ask florists for a credit rating ", The Independent
When: December 7, 2011

If you resent someone stating the obvious, you're probably more intelligent than the general public, which apparently doesn't recognize the obvious.

Here's my question about economic—why should it send countries into panic when the bankers make pronouncements about countries' credit ratings, as they did yesterday? You could choose any layer of society at random and most people would trust them more than bankers, so it would make more sense if the BBC News started, "Private sector growth must be the priority for Europe, said the scouts today, although canoeists and wrestlers disagreed, and there was strong opposition from people with fetishes that involve celery. Robert Peston, what does this mean for the Government's inflation target?"

And banks aren't neutral observers, they're banks If you resent someone stating the obvious, you're probably more intelligent than the general public, which apparently doesn't recognize the obvious. the people who caused the mess. It's like someone who's wet themselves in a public building insisting they choose which mop the librarian fetches to clear up the puddle.

No, really. If you're wondering why anyone needs to tell you this, you've probably figured out what the rest of your neighbors can't seem to figure out for themselves, and God help anyone inclined to explain it to them.

A Conspiracy, or, What Else Could It Be?

Who: David Horsey
What: "Herman Cain and the liberal media conspiracy", SeattlePI.com
When: November 30, 2011

Because it's always a liberal conspiracy, you know ....

This conspiracy goes back much farther than the brief months of Cain's campaign, of course. It began back in the 1960s when the liberal media elites identified a Kenyan-born baby with an American mother; a child they could groom in secret to become their tool to destroy Christian America. They arranged a fake birth announcement in Honolulu's newspapers, indoctrinated the boy in the Muslim cesspool of Indonesia and, when the time was right, brought him to the exotic, multiracial pleasure garden of Hawaii where he could easily fit in and begin his surreptitious climb to power ....

.... Why, you may ask, would media companies that are deeply enmeshed in the capitalist system and run by rich families and Wall Street investors be so devoted to replacing American free enterprise with Kenyan anti-colonial socialism? And how, you may also wonder, could they be so prescient, so forward thinking that they could plot the rise of a Kenyan baby to the White House, yet not notice until it was too late that Craig's List and Google were stealing all their business?

All the Subtlety of a Newtron Bomb

Who: KCRW
What: To the Point
When: December 5, 2011

Figuring the subtleties of Newt Gingrich is a bit like getting beaten by an angry Pillsbury Doughboy. That is, for all it might hurt, it is hard not to laugh at the absurdity of the proposition; and it is probably something one ought not undertake without first ingesting some sort of hallucinogen.

Still, though, Warren Olney and his panel of guests put in a pretty good effort at trying to explain the Newtron Bomber: